Tips on dealing with difficult people: Customers #1-10

We've all been there. Author dealing with a disappointed reader, customer service operator at any given company, or even a checker at the local store. You are just trying to get your business done and some person decides to make your life miserable. Besides choking back the desire to give them a piece of your mind, I've decided to do a small series on dealing with difficult people.

This particular section I'm going to share some techniques for dealing with customers. You can usually use the same methods with the other difficult people in your life. You can find the related article on Fox Small Business here.

1) Listen- People want to be heard. It's hard to zip it and let them rail at you, but truthfully, once your angry customer/person has had the chance to air their grievance, they are usually a lot more willing to calm down and listen to reason. Use this moment to build the bridge of empathy and rapport with them.

2) Build a rapport with empathy- People want to know that they are not in this alone, that they are not going to be left hanging with their situation. Even if you cannot help them, let them know that you understand and are willing to 'be there' for them.

3) Use a low, non threatening voice - People feel threatened with sharp abrupt wording and loud voices. Remember how you talk to a grieving person? Well the emotions are just about he same. Give them your sympathy, your compassion, and do it in your most understanding tone.

4) Assume you are being watched- That's right. Even if you don't think you are being monitored, assume that you are. That will keep you on your best behavior.

5)Know when to give in or give up - If you can negotiate and go above and beyond, know when it's time to do so. If you really truly can't help them, make sure you break the news to them compassionately and if possible make suggestions that will help. Customers know a line of BS when they hear one, so don't just throw out anything to get your difficult customer off the line or away.

6)Keep your cool- Even if your customer/person is being verbally abusive, keep it together. Don't swear or threaten. Keep calm. Let them have their say and calmly stand your position while trying to guide the conversation back to the real issue. If you can't calm them down, it may be necessary to throw your supervisor 'under the bus' and offer to introduce them to someone who has more authority than you.

7)It's not you- Don't take it personally and don't take it home with you. Remember this is just a job and the drama is not worth ruining your day over.

8)We're all human- Take a moment to remember that the person venting at you is just as human as you. They have bad days, medical conditions, and yeah...some people are just jerks. So try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they might have had a very trying day before dealing with the issue that they've brought to you.

9)If you make a promise- follow through- Don't make promises that you cannot keep. If you do make a promise, like a call back, then make sure you make a note of it and do it. Take relevant notes so that the customer knows that you remember them as a person, not a chore.

10) Summarize- Be sure to go back over all the relevant points of the issue and make sure that they have all been addressed. Make sure that both you and the customer understand what the expectations are and what the reality is. Don't be harsh about it, but be truthful. Don't give false expectations that will lead to another angry encounter or a bad review online.

Remember, even an unhappy customer can give a great review if they feel that you have done you best and truly empathized and helped them. Also remember that you can't save everyone. Keep a positive outlook and dealing with customers doesn't have to be a nightmare.

-- Good luck and stay sane!

Buffi BeCraft
www.buffibecraft.net

Happy Mother's Day 2014

A Look at the 'Attack on Women' by View of a Mirror.

A look at the 'Attack on Women' by view of a mirror.

I started this as a reply to a post on this topic on LinkedIn, then found myself with a blog post of my own that could be misinterpreted as a case of one-up-womanship. Since I shudder at the idea of trying to upstage someone else's excellent topic, I've decided to post it on my own blog and send you a link to Kharis Macey's topic post. Don't stop there. Her continuing topics are wonderful as well.

I haven't personally seen the medical politics of the sort experienced by you (read the relevent on LinkedIn), but have heard of it from others. I'm in the tech field, which is still thought of as very male-oriented/preferred.

Overall, it seems that women prefer men to work on their computer equipment and are quick to base perceived skill assessments on that measure, not past history. Men, in general, are often quicker to accept assistance from a woman without stating the, "I don't know if you can help." qualifier first.

In my personal experience, I also physically see very few women actively working in the electronics field in service, repair, or installation. The women that I do meet, are often online or over the phone in a support capacity.

Of course, I live in a very southern mindset entrenched area where over the years, I have actually been called "little lady", been looked at funny and been refused to be called by a hyphenated name, and have had my abilities to operate a cordless drill questioned. All of that being a type of everyday sexism that I imagine will likely not go away for a few more generations.

But overall the men I work with are gentlemen who are willing to step back and let me "take a go at it". This is Texas after all, and few of average men are willing to tell a woman what she can't do. As I mentioned before, women often view other women with suspicion in relation to thier own status, and are far quicker to throw each other 'under the bus'. Not just to get ahead, but simply to save face with nothing at stake. Which is funny because nearly 20 yrs ago, I got out of anything construction-related for much the same reason. .

The very best thing as we can do as women, mothers, aunts, and mentors in general, is to teach the younger generation of females that we are not in competition with one another. That competitive assassination of one another is a weakness that reflects badly on all of us as a whole, no matter our race, religion, or orientation. It's another tick mark that reflects negatively on women in a business environment.

When we take away the physical differences, we ARE the same inside, with the same emotions, and the same desires to succeed in life, whatever our goals. When we, as women, lift one other up, both in business and beyond, the things that we can teach one another as a 'Sisterhood' (I truly liked your analogy) are endless.

By the way, the Ban Bossy website: banbossy.com offers some wonderful material and further links on the subject of teaching the younger generation of females that is okay to self-advocate and stamping out the stigmatism that is often attributed to women who do stand up for themselves.

Buffi BeCraft
buffibecraft.net
@BuffiBeCraft

Vegas Tip # 6 - Shoes and Attire

If you are going to do pretty much anything in Vegas, remember that the right kind of shoes are important to the activity you are about to undertake.

Sure if clubbing in club that requires a fancy dress outfit is on the agenda, then those swanky expensive shoes and/or stilettos are a must. Now, mind you, we didn't go into any of the upscale clubs. That's not our thing-- Standing in a long line of people dressed to the nines, while waiting for some guy in a suit to check that your name is on the list, approve your clothing choices, and then decide if you can enter. Our best outfits included comfortable and inexpensive dress shoes, slacks and a favorite button up shirt for my man (not exactly trendy, but I thought he was hot) and a back baring sundress, blue curly locks, and glittery flip flops for me (from my sweetie's attentiveness, I'd say that he felt the same about me). So, on the dress up and go out portions of our Vegas adventure, we were happy and that's all that counted. The actual idea of wearing heels makes me shudder, so I guess there will be no special clubs for us in the future. Trust me, I'm not exactly sad about that.

Now if you decide that you are going to go on the adventure of a lifetime and head to the Grand Canyon or go to the Hiking Park, or one of those other nature related outings- Please do yourself a favor and DRESS COMFORTABLY for the event. Do not wear flip flops or cheap tennis shoes. (We did that last year and it sucked the big one.) Take a pack with snacks and beverages that are suited to your metabolism for the entire trip. Otherwise you are going to either be stuck out or pay through the nose when you finally find civilization again.

In the event that you are going to stroll down the strip, remember that heels are cute but your feet will hate you after just of the freaking huge blocks. Each hotel is massive and the blocks are like 3 or 4 regular ones anywhere else. Remember my posts about transportation? Trams and the Monorail are your friend. The bus is a good friend to have too. Even taking a day to shop in the many malls can be a long walk, so be aware of what your body can take and wear clothing and footgear that will carry you through.

Happy Vacationing and Have Fun!
Buffi BeCraft www.buffibecraft.net